Another NYFW has come and gone. These weeks I swear fly by but leave you so completely exhausted, but also exhilarated. As many of you know Kel & work full-time so we are only able to attend events and shows after work. However, we saw some absolutely incredible shows this past week ranging from Sachin & Babi all the way to Adam Selman and ending with Baja East. We will always be so thankful to have been given the opportunity to attend these shows, representing ourselves as opposed to through work or through a friend. We really are very proud.
We did however, find something to be different about this past NYFW. We all know that as bloggers, we are asked to attend by the designers & PR teams purely to capture moments through our lens and eye and show the new collections to our followers. We are there to show off street style, our personal favorite part! Outside the shows now, I truly believe things have shifted in that it is “all about us”. The photogs, magazines, press want to know what BLOGGERS and influencers are wearing. We are the ones paving the way in street style and that is TRULY REMARKABLE we have been given that power.
Unfortunately, this year we found it to be more about who you were showing up to the shows with rather than the fashion/style you were wearing. Kel & I always make a point to do street style with Lex of Lexicon of Style as she is one of our best friends and street style icons. But this year it was about showing up in PACKS. (like wolf packs). Which you know… is fine. It’s women empowerment, it’s a movement. However, the moment us as bloggers walk thru those two doors into the show.. it is not about “us” anymore. It is about the designer, it is about the designers art and this year we found that not to be the case. This is where the blogger clique movement has moved in like a god damn storm.
We of course have our own group of friends in the blogger community that we have had for awhile now. But there is something new about showing off your “clique” to the world that is leaving a bad taste in the mouths of well…everyone. So many girls feeling like if they aren’t in this group or that group they will never be taken seriously. I had this feeling at one of the shows where I sat in the midst of so many girls in one clique that were taking millions of pics together and even emailing during the show… where I felt like.. I don’t belong. Questions ran through my mind like “how do I fit in here” or “is this even where I want to fit in?” It is hard. Sometimes it feels like high school where there are different tables of cliques and you have all these girls with different amounts of followings and style aesthetics and that is how you are perceived by others.
As long as we have been blogging (4 years) it has never been like this. Girls everywhere are taking #squadgoals pics to show that in a sense, there is competition in this new movement. Which raises the next question… How do we create and keep true relationships in the influencer world that are honest, unforced and not for the sake of gaining more Instagram likes or followers? Our answer.. it is about QUALITY not QUANITITY. Trust me if a friend asks you to brunch not to get to know you but to just take brunch photos.. prob not a good sign. Again, we are all about women supporting women (obviously) and we will all find our best friends that mesh with us and our personalities but are committed to never changing ourselves to fit into the mold or aesthetic of someone else.
We will end by saying a thank you to every designer, publicist, friends, industry person and all humans who helped us have an amazing fashion week. WE LOVE ALL YOU GIRLS OUT THERE BLOGGING AND WORKING HARD and will support this community always. No matter if you just started blogging, or if you have been doing it for years, never be intimidated. Never give up. Never try and compare yourself to others. Never think you are “too small” to be apart of something, or “too big” to be above someone else.
Shop this post:
Courtney Purple Dress – Windsor Store // Courtney Orange Jumpsuit – Rent the Runway // Courtney Coat – Rent the Runway // Kelly Floral Dress – Windsor Store // Kelly Fur – Rent the Runway // Kelly Flared Pants – Zara // Kelly Top – This is April
xoxo
Courtney & Kelly.
Yay for this post!!! Love u girls and this message — as a teacher , it’s alarming that I see the same behaviors in my 8th graders creeping into adult society lol… I guess for many, the need to fit in and have “status” never dissipates fully…let’s hope fashion week sticks to capturing real streetstyle and not just “names”!!! Xoxo
Such a great comparison!! Thank you for sharing. We are in this together!! Sending so much XOXOXO your way,
First and foremost, I have to say you guys are the best. I love how real and honest y’all are and I always look forward to your posts!! Second, this is my favorite post and here’s why.
I’ve only been blogging for a couple of years so I still feel like I don’t know the blogging industry all that well. However, the last 6 months or so I’ve been noticing a lot of bloggers go all #squadgoals or #tribe mode and I started to really second guess myself– even my personality. I started to wonder what I was missing and asked my husband several times about how I can start to “fit in”. I even started to question whether it was just my ethnicity! -_- I’m from Dallas and some of the Dallas bloggers that I have networked with at events are super nice in person and then after the event is over, so is our “friendship”. One of them went so far as following me only to unfollow. The Dallas squad I’m referring to constantly posts photos of each other and I think the whole women empowerment thing is great but it really bums me out to see how high school the blogging industry has become. Honestly, it’s not really women empowerment when bloggers are being selective on which which bloggers can be in their “squad”. But I completely agree with you– it’s no longer about the individual’s style and fashion anymore– it’s who you hang out with. Bums me out, haha!
Anyway, I’m really happy someone wrote about this because it’s been bugging me for a long time. I first thought it was just me–I’ve always been kind of the lone wolf when it comes to cliques but it’s nice to see I’m not alone this time. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, being real and making those that do ride solo feel a lot better!! <3
I love everything you wrote above!! You are not the only one and it is so evident now in the feedback we have been receiving to this post. There is definitely a “power squad” in NYC and they make it very evident. We were getting so intimdated and so were all of our blogger friends that werent in it. You are not alone. Everyone is seeing this problem and we are only one of the first to address it.!! Thank YOU for being so honest and leaving this comment. Sending LOVE to Dallas.
Loved this!! You girls are so authentic and refreshing and I truly enjoy reading all of your content. Thanks for being unique and original, you make NYC look easy, carefree, and fun (even though I know it is definitely not always haha)! Keep it up!!!💕
Thank you so much Megan!! We do everything we can to stay honest!!
I absolutely loved this. And I agree! I keep seeing these “squad” pics and it makes me think about Mean Girls. Can I not sit with you or something?? Being invited to fashion week is a privilege, not a right. And I think some of these squads take that for granted.
Exactly. Kind of like the cafeteria scene?? We agree it is most def a privilege!
This post seriously SPEAKS to me. I just got back from fashion week – my first time ever! And you know who I took? My mom. Because I’m not part of any “squad” and I blog alone. I was so happy to at least have family to come back to the room with. I say at shows my entire first day feeling so out of place – so small. Everyone seemed so interested in their own group and not so interested in admitting anyone else into it. Ive never felt so intimidated – and confused. Like to your point – is this even what I want?
Fashion week was SO GOOD – and I def want to go back. But I hope the squad mentality becomes more open and inviting. I’m a small blogger and even when my time comes to be “big” – I still always want to be inclusive.
Thanks for writing this. I’m so glad someone else felt what I felt!
Xoxo Kelsey
http://www.blondesandbagels.com
HI Kelsey! We totally understand the intimidation – I felt so overwhelmed this past NYFW. Like if we are not in this group or that group than how unimportant are we.
You are not alone!! This is a real issue and we are glad you spoke out and commented!!
xoxox
Omg I got the SAME vibe!!!! Like I have only been blogging a year and a half and I know I’m not Aimee Song but that doesn’t mean girls need to treat each other like they aren’t good enough. Anytime I saw someone I followed I introduced myself and sometimes I felt like I was of very little importance to them. I know Fashion Week is about the shoes but I love meeting people as well and it just put a bad taste in my mouth. I’m so glad I got to meet you at Bloglovin though! You were so freaking cool! 🙂
Shows ***
Geez I agree!
I had the same experience then I try to become closer to them like responding to them and chats then hang out. At least, It worked out 🙂
http://www.lymphaticalien.blogspot.com
Staying true to yourselves is key! Keep doing what you are doing!
xoxo
Ladies, thank you for speaking truth. It was my first time to NYFW and I for the most part did it alone. I felt very overwhelmed by the girl gangs, but in the end I was happy that I pulled it off with just myself and new found photographer friends. Love your braids btw, I see that we both went to Amika for our hair!
Thank you for always keeping it real.
xx
Lauren
http://www.shoesandsashimi.com
Love you girlies XOXO
I completely agree with you. It seems like the true meaning of FW to bloggers and influencers have shifted. I feel pretty concern how ‘status’ and popularity has become the main focus for this event.
I completely agree with you. It seems like the true meaning of FW to bloggers and influencers have shifted. I feel pretty concern how ‘status’ and popularity has become the main focus for this event.
http://www.lymphaticalien.blogspot.com