Jacket | Tart Collections
Hat | Kathy Jeanne Millinery
Shoes | Ego Official
November and December of 2016 may have been some of the most trying months of my life. I was tested in so many different ways and there were days I truly thought that one person simply couldn’t handle everything that was happening. From personal relationships deteriorating, to health issues, to business complications, to deaths, I felt that I had simply lost control of everything. It’s difficult to write this in retrospect because it is so soon but I think it is important to personally reflect while you can still comprehend and be true to your immediate feelings. While I can’t go into detail, I do think it is important that we are honest and true to you guys so you know that at the end of the day, it’s not all smiles and laughs. That Instagram and social media are highlight reels of our lives even if we try and make it as real and honest as possible.
The New Year couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I took about a week and half off of work (blog + full-time marketing job) and let my body catch up to my mind. I took naps, spent really important time with my friends I grew up with and had many reflective conversations with my mom (sorry mom). I put myself back at my equilibrium and reflected on the things that make me happy and tried to determine what I need to pursue to maintain a positive, healthy and normal life. I know we all go through times when life simply escapes your grasps and you feel like you have lost authority over your own fate, so I wanted to share the list of things (not in order) I determined were important for rerouting my direction and putting things back on track.
1 – Do things that make you happy – I know this might seem superfluous, but in a city like New York you can get caught up in a rhythm of doing things that are just apart of the “New York scene” as opposed to doing the activities that make you happy.
2 – Go out because it’s fun, not because you are networking – I call myself an official “Networker.” I love to network, I love meeting new people and making connections that could impact our professional careers. But sometimes it’s important to go out, get drunk with your friends and give up a night of events just because.
3 – Build a relationship with God – Don’t want to freak anybody out and get all preachy on you, but I have always held a lot of importance and my happiness with my investment in faith. I attend Church every Sunday (well…most Sundays), talk to God and study different religions. It brings me a sense of calmness and forces me to step outside of my life and look at the larger picture.
4 – Work hard but balance yourself – Courtney and I work basically non-stop. Balancing two careers may seem easy from the outside but it’s not. If you overwork yourself, you will begin to resent it and wont cherish the moments you once did in your career.
5 – Figure out your routine and stick with it – I am the type of person who has to have a set schedule and routine or else I get completely out of whack. Your routine can vary anywhere from a daily routine, to a nightly skincare routine, to a gym routine. Find out what patterns in your life that make you feel healthy and proud of yourself and keep it going. When my body finds its’ rhythm, it’s a pretty amazing thing what it can accomplish.
6 – Love and trust the people who love and trust you – It takes me a while to trust someone and even longer to love someone. But it’s important to surround yourself with people who love you and have your best interest at heart. In a world where there’s usually a insincerity behind a smile and purpose behind a favor, it’s important to keep those close to you very close and to make them feel loved and appreciated.
7 – Stay true to your values – Growing up in Virginia, it was apart of my nature to smile at a stranger, hold the door for someone and strike up a conversation just because. In New York, the world goes by so fast and people are so caught up with looking out for themselves, they forget about how interacting with others can have a huge impact on their day. Being kind to everyone (even if I am crammed into a tiny subway car) makes me happy and in turn makes me feel good about myself. Giving back to others is also something that is important to me. Aside from getting to share the awesome perks of blogging with friends and family, it is important to give back to my community. I recently started working with New York cares and have carved out one day of the week every week to work at the food bank, retirement community and various Autism non-profits.
I know this was a pretty wordy post and congratulations if you got to the end but just wanted to put it all out there in case anyone else was kinda going through the same stuff!
Thank you so much for sharing! I love the whole list and can’t pick just one because they are all equally important. I pray that 2017 is a year of health, peace and happiness for you!
That first picture had me hooked. First of all, the hair is on FLEEK. The jacket is chic. And those shades, I need.
Im obsessed with the contrasting patter of the fur coat and velvet booties!! So fab!
Amazing at what a little time off will do! Love your tips especially the one about going out to have fun !!!
Beautiful style too ! I need your coat !!
such a great motivational post. I hope you have a much better year and do things for yourself!
Obsessed with this post. Relate to so much of it. You are one bad ass babe! It’s so easy to get caught up in this crazy world of ours. I’m so sorry you went through such a hard time, 2017 is going to be your year! Thinking of you babe — sending lots of love your way. See you soon!
Your coat is so chic, great photos!!
xo
http://www.laurajaneatelier.com
Thank you for writing this- sometimes it can be hard to talk on the heavier material of life so writing this all out for your followers is awesome. , It may seem that people only want the glam stuff, but I don’t think that’s true. It shows being down to earth. Everyone goes through rough times and it becomes important at the end of the day to essentially treat yoself. If you don’t then everything just piles up, hopefully this janurary and the upcoming year the positives outweighs the negatives!
Ah, I feel this blog post so much! I wrote a similar one. I took a 4 weeks hiatus from life and am just now getting back into the swing of things. Living in LA, I think I can get into the same ruts you described above – especially getting out and not feeling like you’re networking. Yay on you for finding a way to break things up and live! I’m doing the same!
So sorry to hear you had some tough months! I hope 2017 is better for you! These are great tips. Thanks so much for being honest and for sharing your heart!
xo
Alyssa
http://www.teddybearsandlipstick.com
It took a lot for you to be so open and honest. I loved that this post was so real. I love all of the things you said and am trying to do them myself. Xo
This fur coat is gorgeous!!
Love this styling!
xo, Shell
http://acourageousbeauty.com
I did get to the end and it was completely worth it. Your tips are so appropriate for any age and/or stage of life. I am a S@HM and it’s HARD…harder than any job I had before kids. It’s so easy to get lost in your kids, forget yourself and be envious of those with glamorous jobs. The grass is always greener, right?!?! But, I loved how you said going back to your roots…it’s SO important. Good luck with 2017…you’re already on the right track for YOU!!
xoxo
Tiffani
http://www.tiffaniatbretonbay.com
I’m so sorry that the past few months have been tough. There was a time in my life about three years ago when this happened (and another way before that that was just… awful). A month before our wedding, three family were diagnosed with cancer (including my 7 year old nephew), i lost my job that I’d had for four years and was almost kept from graduating college. There was so much bad that whole year with health, finances, death and uncertainty. But I promise you that it gets better. Take some time to heal and take your mind off things. Many hugs and prayers you, my friend.
Liz
http://Www.lizzieinlace.com
I’m so sorry to hear you had such a hard few months. It sounds like taking some time to reflect and spending time with loved ones was exactly what you needed. Everything in this list really hit home, so thank you for posting!
And on a happier note, you look amazing in all of these photos!
xoxo,
Evin Elizabeth
http://www.magnoliasandsunlight.com
Hi there,
I just wanted to thank you for sharing this post. I’m about 6 months into my first job in New York City since graduating college and I definitely can say that I have felt similar to what you are describing. There are times I feel the grind wearing on me and trying to find a way back to my small town roots and values. Working long hours and not making time for myself is definitely something I am struggling with. College was a wonderful time where I was able to balance work with my passions of giving back to the community, working out, and taking time for myself. I’m hoping to find that balance and I really appreciate your advice and experience.
I hope 2017 is a wonderful year for you!
Thank you!
Megan